The Thing About Routines
/I have been in my home for ten days with my daughter and her two small, really, really small kids. Frank will be three in July and Fletcher is six months. We are on a mission to do our best to sort out the new realities of the world while keeping the boys, and ourselves as safe as we possibly can. I have had a lot of time to reflect on what is really important in the lives of families. I am reminded about what a gift routines are to the lives of children, no matter how old they are, especially when their lives are disrupted.
Routines give children a sense that there is order in the world, even when your whole world is in your home. Routines offer security in a stressful time. Routines give a cadence to the day. Routines help children regulate their behavior and their feelings. When children know what to expect, they do better. With a week of social distancing behind us and an uncertain journey ahead of us, it seems to be a good time to consider a routine. No need to run for the chart paper and markers, routines with young children do not need to be rigid. Give yourself some grace, make it fit for you and your children. Design your daily routine to be a comfort, not a stress. For those of you living with little children, I will offer you these elements of a routine in honor of the little folks you live with….
Smooth Transitions. Comings and goings are so important to children.
Outdoor Time. Children play to the space. They play bigger, wilder, louder, and most creatively in nature. Put the sun on their faces and the wind in their hair. Put outdoor time on repeat in your routine playlist.
Resting time. Cuddle up. Nap. There is no better resilience builder than sleep for your children, and for you. You might be surprised to see just how much sleep you really need.
Creative time. Make some time in the day to be creative. It is often in this space that children can express how they feel. Art, even for small children is a window into their minds and hearts. Mail those treasures to people you love.
Family Table Time. Sit. Eat. Enjoy one another’s company at the table. All together. No phones. No screens. Talk. Work on your manners.
Reading time. So. Many. Books. Your children may request the same book over and over again. That’s okay, it is one way that children build predictability into their world.
Chore time. Yep, I know. You do a much better job. It takes twice as long when they help. But hear this, every single one of us, big and small, needs to believe that we are a part of a community that cares about one another. Chores are a way to give meaning to our days.
Time away. I took a drive yesterday to find signs of spring. I also needed to cry. Take the time you need to grieve and to harvest hope. Your children will look to you for guidance and hope. Parenting is often shouldering the tough stuff for children. Protect them by taking good care of yourself.
Joy time. Play. Laugh. Be silly. Imagine. Dance. Play some more. You live with little children, lucky you!
Frank signs off each day by saying “Big Love”, seems fitting for the whole world. Big love.
